About this piece

When I attempted my first iteration of this piece, I ended up hating it so much that not only did I paint over it, but I left it out in the pouring rain and rendered it completely unusable. Around that time, I'd met an amazing woman and was talking to her over lunch, trying to gain some perspective on a romantic pattern that seemed to be playing on repeat throughout my life. She relayed a story about a man she loved who had chosen another woman, and while walking on a beach one day, feeling dejected and wholly unchosen, she was struck out of the blue with a thought. She looked into my eyes and repeated it. "I Choose Me."

I got chills and knew I had to turn these words into an image. Within a few days, a vision materialized in my mind of a goddess in the center of the frame, surrounded on all sides by kneeling versions of herself in a state of complete adoration, love and awe. Self-worth. That elusive but obvious missing piece of the puzzle. I thought that shining a light into this dark space was enough to break the pattern, or at least to change my interpretation of it. But it showed up with so much more frequency after that, that I'd have found it funny if it weren't so defeating.

I began meditating consistently, and finally, FINALLY something shifted. I noticed the change when the pattern showed up yet again and I didn't have to force positive thoughts or try to reason with my emotions... I just naturally moved right through it without invalidating myself. In that moment, I chose me. Only when I really felt worthy could I revisit this discarded piece and make look the way it appeared to me in my vision so many months ago.